Horney discusses various types of neuroses that are caused by the individual’s living environment. These emotional problems begin in childhood and are a result of the parent’s harmful behavior toward the child. The parents may be abusive, hostile, overprotective, selfish, or absent. To protect himself, the child develops various defense mechanisms. Over a period of time, these defense mechanisms can evolve into three types of neuroses: a dependency on others (submission and compliance), aggressive behavior with a distain for others (rebelling) and, backing away from others by removing himself emotionally (aloofness, isolation). The individual develops one of these neuroses and creates an idealized image of who he is. Many of the personality traits he envisions are imaginary, but he tries to live up to this ideal image of who he thinks he is (or should be). Meanwhile, the ‘real self’, or the authentic nature of the individual, is repressed. This neurotic person tries to become the idealized self, but finds there are many inner struggles and conflicts that are difficult to live with. The ‘real self’ has become locked in the unconscious, and the individual begins to hate it. Instead of directing his energies toward self-realization, he is trying to become the idealized self. This misguided effort causes major problems in personality development. 

      The person wanting to regain his ‘lost self’ is able to understand the reality of his situation. He decides to change his outlook and redirect the course of his life. However, the neurotic person continues to believe that he is the idealized image he has created. He is alienated from his ‘real self’ and does not have authentic feelings, emotions, and ambitions. He acts toward others in a manner he thinks is appropriate for his idealized self to behave. Eventually, the neurotic individual realizes he will never become his idealized-self. Consequently, he suffers from self-contempt and self-hate arising from the unconscious. At this point, the individual is experiencing emotional pain stemming from his unconscious, and is fighting internally with his 'real self'. The neurosis that follows can take the form of compulsive behavior, depression, malaise, and possibly suicide. The individual may not even be aware of his neurotic behavior, but is having trouble in all aspects of life, and cannot maintain psychological balance. He no longer knows who he is, or what his purpose is in life. As he lets go of the image of the idealized self, he suffers emotionally, but begins to accept the reasons for his neurosis. His mental image of perfection disappears, and he realizes he is not perfect, and never will be.

     Horney argues that neuroses are developed from patterns of behavior and characteristics of the personality. She offers detailed explanations about why neurosis is destructive to the 'real self', and the importance of becoming aware of one's neurotic behavior. Horney says that changing one's behavior takes tremendous effort, and there are no short-cuts to the re-discovery of the ‘real self’. She recommends accepting the ‘real self’ with love and compassion, and allowing oneself to come to terms with the idealized self. She offers solutions for ridding oneself of neuroses, and stresses the importance of healing the mind.

     Horney compares her theories on neurosis to Freud, and believes her theory of self realization is much more optimistic than Freud’s views. She makes it clear that the individual is the cause of many of his own problems, and he must accept responsibility for living a life based on a false sense of self. For a person with courage, there is hope for transforming the personality by re-igniting the “unique inner force” or ‘real self’ (p. 17). In this book, Horney explains how neurosis develops as the child grows, and the importance of eliminating his neurosis by achieving self-realization.

                                    Works Cited